THE LOST ART OF RELATIONSHIP
Steve taught me through his relationship with me that to speak into someone’s life, I should not presume I have that right. I need to develop the relationship with them and prove my loyalty, love, and commitment to the relationship first. Even then, I still will ask for permission to speak into their life.
I also give permission to those closest to me to speak into my life. You see, we choose who we are going to allow to speak into our lives. Others do the same. To be given the opportunity and privilege to speak into another’s life is a great honor and should never be taken lightly. It requires humility in a relation- ship. It requires us to be intentional and disciplined in what we say, how we say it, and to judge our motives for why we need to say it. It also requires trust.
Prove Confidentiality
How do you prove confidentiality? It takes time and trust given at the right moments. It also requires testing. This is not a game. If you can keep confidence for a friend, you will earn their trust.
I wouldn’t start off sharing the deepest darkest secret you have with someone. Start small in this regard with your relationships. There is only one person who truly keeps all things confidential, and you can trust that he will always have your back. That is Jesus, of course. You can go to him with anything, and he hears you.
Still, others can be tested and proven faithful in their confidentiality. Steve did just that for me over the years. I can count on five fingers those whom I have shared some of the closest things to my heart, Jesus and my wife excluded. Four of them are still living, and the other went home to be with God several years ago.
I had arrived at a point where I needed to take a risk in these relationships and open up to share something that I would never share with just anyone. These were issues that I needed and expected complete confidentiality.
How did I know they could be trusted? How did I know they would not judge me or my situation? I didn’t fully know. But I knew that each one of them proved to be faithful as a friend in and trustworthy in their confidentiality. To this day and beyond, they will always hold a special place in my heart and will always be in my prayers.
Steve has taught me so much in his example, his love for God, and his love for me. If you allow yourself to develop deep and meaningful relationships, there will be great rewards, and they will change your life—for the better.